My boyfriend gets drunk several times a week, and I am considering breaking up with him

Every time my boyfriend goes for a drink, he stays out until 1 or 2 a.m., gets completely drunk, throws up, and disrupts my sleep with his phone calls.

My boyfriend and I are both 30 years old and have been dating for over a year. Overall, our relationship is quite good, and our personalities are compatible since we are both mature.

I have decent looks, a good family background, and a stable job, and so had plenty of suitors. In the end, I chose him because he is tall, handsome, and a good physical match for me. He also adores me and has a promising career.

But his family background isn't great: His parents are divorced, he began to live with his grandparents at a young age.

He is quite ambitious and works as a civil engineer, earning VND30 million (US$1,160) a month. When I asked him to study Chinese with me, he happily agreed, though he wasn't the most diligent student. He dotes on me, is generous, tolerant, and accommodating, though sometimes he can be careless and lacking in tact.

Overall, there is nothing to complain about him, except for his frequent drinking. I don’t forbid him from drinking alcohol altogether, because I understand that his job requires socializing and entertaining clients.

We have agreed that whenever he goes for a drink, he should only drink in moderation, be home by 11 pm at the latest, and call or text to let me know so I don’t worry. He listened to me in the beginning, but for some reason, over the past few months, he has been drinking heavily, sometimes two or three times a week.

He always gives the excuse he is entertaining someone or the other, if not for work, then for networking. Every time he does this, he stays out until 1 or 2 am, gets completely drunk, throws up, and calls me, rambling about his feelings, telling me how much he loves and misses me—only to remember nothing the next morning. If I don't answer his calls, he spams me with messages.

Witnessing my boyfriend vomiting and rambling drunkenly over video calls has left me deeply shocked. Many people might tell me I should feel happy because my boyfriend only thinks of me when he's drunk, but to me, those are images of sloppiness, degradation, and alcoholism that I utterly despise.

People I know and my family, for example my father and brother, live disciplined lives, and no one has gotten drunk or acted that way. I keep thinking about the images of drunk men out on the streets and those who drink at parties to the point of rambling uncontrollably. I always find myself wondering how such a man can get a wife, and what kind of person his wife is.

I have had serious conversations with him about this multiple times, not just for the sake of his image, but also for his health. He makes promises and apologizes, but then repeats the behavior anyway. Over time, I decided to turn off my phone and not answer his calls, but then I began to worry something might happen to his health after drinking, given that he lives alone.

Right now, I constantly find myself wanting to be single. Dating is fun, but I simply cannot stand the thought of my boyfriend's sloppy, drunken image. Meanwhile, he seems to take this lightly, making empty promises and continually finding excuses for his drinking. I would rather stay single than marry a man like that.

I am writing this to ask for everyone's advice on how to get my boyfriend to change. Honestly, I do not want to break up with him, but if he stays like this, I don't think I can continue.