Investing $100,000 in a child's education is better than buying them a house

Spending US$100,000 on a house would give my child a secure place to live, but it cannot automatically translate into a successful career later in life.

In recent years, I have increasingly encountered a question in conversations with parents in Vietnam: If you have around VND2-3 billion ($77,000-$115,000), should you use it to send your child abroad for education or buy them a house?

It is a practical dilemma for many families as the labor market changes and attitudes toward "investing" in children evolve. Education, housing and career prospects have all become increasingly challenging.

A house is a tangible asset that can be valued and passed on to a child. A good education is harder to quantify and may not produce visible results within a few years.

From what I have observed, most parents are not afraid of spending money on their children. What they fear is making the wrong investment. They are willing to spend billions of dong if they believe it will secure a better future for their child, but they worry that after years of studying abroad, the child might return without a stable career, earn a modest income or even have to start over.

An apartment, by contrast, offers a sense of security. It can be rented out when not in use, sold when needed or held as a long-term asset. This mindset is understandable, particularly for families who have spent years working and saving to accumulate several billion dong.

Two years ago, I faced this decision myself: whether to send my eldest daughter to study psychology at Erasmus University Rotterdam in the Netherlands.

As a single mother raising two children on my own, this was not a decision I could make casually. I knew the costs would be substantial and that supporting my daughter would require a significant financial commitment over several years.

At the same time, I had a younger daughter who also needed care, education and support. I did not have the financial luxury of treating several billion dong as a trial investment. To me, the money represented years of work, savings and sacrifice.

So the decision was about more than education. It involved financial planning, family responsibilities and the risks that come with committing a large share of one's resources to one child.

I heard plenty of warnings. Some people said studying abroad was too expensive. Others told me that, as a single parent with two children, I should not put so much money into one child. Some even worried that my daughter might stay abroad permanently and that I would effectively "lose" her.

I had the same concerns. Was I taking too big a risk? What if she did not return? What if her studies did not lead to the opportunities I hoped for? What if a financial crisis hit and I had to support my older daughter while continuing to provide for her younger sister?

But I eventually realized that some decisions cannot be postponed until every risk has disappeared.

If a child has a genuine ambition, the ability to pursue it and a serious commitment to their chosen path, I believe a parent's role is not to live that life for them but to give them the opportunity to try.

I chose to trust my daughter. That did not mean I was certain she would succeed or that I believed studying abroad automatically guaranteed a better future. I simply believed that when a child has a serious ambition and the parents have the means to support it within their limits, the greater regret can be missing the opportunity because of fear.

I do not know where my daughter will work in the future. I do not know whether she will return to Vietnam or remain in the Netherlands. Nor do I know whether the money I am spending on her education will eventually prove to have been a financially sound investment.

But I do know that I feel fulfilled when I see her happy with her field of study, excited about her new environment and growing through each experience. I have accepted a degree of financial risk today to give her the opportunity to pursue something she believes in.

That does not mean I believe every parent should spend their savings on overseas education rather than property.

Nor do I believe that having money automatically means buying a home for one's child is the right choice. The traditional idea that owning a home provides the foundation for a successful career has some merit, but circumstances have changed significantly for young people and families.

An apartment in a major city can be a substantial asset, but it also requires capital, maintenance and management costs. If a family's entire financial capacity is tied up in real estate, it may also limit other opportunities.

More importantly, owning a home does not by itself provide professional skills, foreign-language proficiency, experience or adaptability. A young person may have a house but still struggle to build the career they want.

There is another risk that parents sometimes overlook. When they spend billions of dong on a child's education, they can unintentionally create an "emotional debt": the expectation that because so much has been invested, the child must succeed, earn a high income and achieve a corresponding social status.

That pressure can push young people toward fields they do not want to pursue, keep them in jobs they dislike or make them afraid to fail because they feel they have no right to.

Education should not be treated as a business transaction in which parents invest money and wait for their children to pay dividends. It should be a way for parents to give their children the opportunity to learn, grow and build their own lives.

*Vu Thi Minh Huyen is a PhD holder.